No Apologies by Ken and Lizbeth
I trust that whatever deeds this gentle spirit of my soul leads me to, the divine is there, and peace is present, and the dry, arid wastelands of my life have become blooming gardens of sensuous joy. Naked Revelations
This book was a labor of love, a curse, a blessing and an obsession. I consider it my sexual anthem. Writing it put my discoveries and my sexual philosophy into a concrete form, allowing me to clearly see the results of my efforts. It offers my readers a refreshing and valuable look at this most misunderstood aspect of human nature.
This website has been on the Internet for over four years, and in that time I've received many e-mails from those who are exploring their own sexuality, their desires, their fantasies and their sexual choices. With each e-mail, I realized that my personal experience had a good deal say to those, like me, who may be scared, traumatized or even turned frigid by the mention of sex.
For much of my life that was me. My fantasies were a mystery to haunt, condemn and cause me great guilt. They were as dark and extreme as the novels I write. I tried to eradicate them from my mind. But for all my determination to do so, they never disappeared. And my attempts to control the blooming and vibrant sexuality of my youth turned my body cold and unresponsive. To awaken this dormant side of me and make peace with it required that I do an about face and look my sexual fears squarely in the eye. Taking up the challenge, I followed a clear path laid before me to reopen my physical body and rekindled my desire. After more than thirty years of repression, I discovered that it is possible to have a healthy and exciting sex life. Not only did this breathe new life into me and my marriage, it awakened my creative muse as well.
For those that have sexual fears, who blanche at intimacy, or are haunted by fantasies, or traumatic sexual events, No Apologies offers the means to finding your sexual realness. It shows ways to open and enhance intimate relationships, and resolve the guilt and self-judgment that can accompany our sexual experiences.
This book explores taboo desires, sexual obsessions, and the nature of dominance and submission, as well as the relationship between sex and creativity. It talks of the various ways people experience their sexuality?how we are not all the same. Most of all, it shows how to find acceptance and enjoyment in a world that is commonly judgmental to the wild variety of sexual desires and choices.
No Apologies is about how we can take control of our sexuality, acknowledge it, and experience it, so we can enjoy what this elemental aspect of our human nature can bring to our lives in personal satisfaction and intimacy with those we love.
When you mention sex, people flinch, it’s a normal response.
It has to do with getting naked, about body parts—penises, vaginas, breasts, asses and the physical sensations that rip through those body parts like a lightning bolt rips through a turgid summer evening, leaving a soul-sapping heat so mellow you can hardly move. But, getting naked is more than about exposing body parts, it’s as much about stripping the soul naked as it is about anything physical. It may be easy to shed clothes for sex, but it’s something altogether different getting naked and sharing souls.
That’s where the real uneasiness and embarrassment about sex occurs, where the flinching begins—in the sharing secrets, whispering dreams, concocting visions in that great hereafter of an orgasmic moment when everything in the universe is supremely perfect. People flinch at the very mention of sex because they’re afraid of the possibilities for honesty, the vulnerability and the loss of control that makes the sex act the most extraordinary, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual act possible between two human beings.
Sex is sacred and profane all at the same moment. It’s the essential creative act. It’s animal breathing new life into animal, it’s the ultimate act of dying, it’s surrender, conquest, triumph, and peace. It’s that split second when pheromones collide and the body follows sensation to its end … the times we curl up to a lover just to keep warm … and those sticky hot nights when we’re almost too tired to move, but the blood boils anyway, and the loins get hot as desire overpowers the need to sleep. It’s human nature calling us, whispering secrets in our ear, and beckoning us to come along. Most of the time we don’t know why. It simply feels terrific—the foreplay, the spasming joy, and the exhausted aftermath, when tremor after small earthquake tremor reminds us we’ve been somewhere special for one bliss-filled slip of time.
Sex has become more than just a physical act—or even the emotional and spiritual joining of two people. It is now a commodity advertisers use to sell everything from jeans, to beer, to cars, to tennis shoes. It is sadly, and all too often, coupled in our popular media with the term violence—as if the two go hand in hand. Our society has become like peeping Toms, peering into people’s bedrooms with titillated curiosity, only to judge what we see there. We love the sensations of sex, we celebrate and encourage it with our young, but then blush embarrassed when we are confronted by it. It remains now, as it has throughout history, the most mysterious, misunderstood, relished, judged and mesmerizing piece of human existence.
This book is a blatantly candid, no holds barred discussion of sex. It’s about the discoveries I’ve made about sexuality over the past forty some years, and about the wisdom I’ve received that has turned a life filled with sexual bewilderment and self-judgment (my life), into one that now basks in the joy of this very real part of my human experience.
Who am I to write this book? I am an erotica writer by profession, the result of a spiritual quest that landed me in this unusual occupation. I’ve been penning over-the-edge pornographic novels for ten years, believing that I have a mission to touch more than the loins of the readers that stumble on my work—that I have a calling to enlighten the world about sexual truth.
In the rest of my life, I am a mother, a business owner, and the wife, lover and best friend to a peach of fellow, my husband Ken. In my heart and soul, I am a perpetual seeker of spiritual answers. And in that regard, I think of sex as a grand piece of our human spiritual design, all too often reviled and ignored by those who represent spiritual truth in our culture.
In the late 1960’s and 70’s I studied psychology in college for the reason many pursue that field—I wanted to learn about myself. I’ve been trained as a paraprofessional counselor, taken thousands of dollars worth of weekend enlightenment seminars, have explored the mysteries of the New Age, been rebirthed, regressed, healed, cleansed and massaged into a greater understanding of myself. Some time around 1988, I discovered that I had a wealth of untapped sexual fantasy, which would not only become the source of a great awakening, but that would rescue my family from financial ruin, and provide a means to personal fulfillment and a reborn spirit.
I have a passion for writing erotic novels that are grossly politically incorrect—about women who have strange desires—most often the desire to be sexually dominated by men. I write stories about women who dare to make sexual choices in their lives that would be shunned by both the right wing conservatives of our society and left wing feminists who would label my work degrading pornography. I write about spanking, punishment, S&M, Dominance/submission, and female bisexuality with a casualness that suggests these sex acts are natural, not bizarre oddities.
The truth is, however, it wouldn’t matter if I were writing as a female dominant, a lesbian, a transsexual, or represented some other unique form of sexuality, the message of this book would be the same. The nature of my erotica is simply what is real for me, an honest product of my sexual fantasies that I have nurtured since I first began to daydream and create erotic stories in my mind. Within my novels I breath life into my characters and explore the inner workings of the female mind (and sometimes the masculine mind as well). I subtly and sometimes not so subtly (when I climb on my soapbox) talk of sexual acceptance, and the power of making sexual choices that reflect what is real for each individual.